A few months ago, I was driving my car, minding my own business (eating biscuits and drinking water from a bottle), when I got stopped by some policemen:
– Madam, follow us to the police station, please, you are riding the wrong way!
– What do you mean the wrong way? I have been driving through this Kofo Abayomi road to reach Ozumba Mbadiwe Street for more than fourteen years!
– Well, there is a redirection of traffic on this road. You didn’t see the sign?
– Which sign? Show it to me, please, because I didn’t notice it!
So, we drove a few meters back and there was a sign, indeed, but instead of facing the street and the cars, it was facing the wall!
I argued about that but to no avail. I had to follow them to Bar Beach Police Station.
Meanwhile, of course, I had called my husband’s cousin on the phone. This is sad to admit, but you sometimes have to know somebody who knows somebody to avoid some abuse of power, which was clearly the case here, as the police car was waiting at the junction to ambush innocent drivers that knew nothing about this new redirection so poorly signalled.
My husband’s cousin has this very deep voice that, when you hear it, you understand that there is no fooling around with him. I don’t know what he told them, but after they talked to him, the policemen were more lenient. Also due to the fact that my husband’s cousin told them that I will “settle” them with a little something.
Me? “Settle” them? You must be joking! I don’t “settle” the police, even when I have actually committed an offence (like driving on the BRT lane!) I will not give you anything. Not because I think that I am above the law, No. I am willing to pay the fine, but not in your pocket! Give me the police account number, please!
So, we arrived in front of the police station, and the policemen were waiting for the promised settlement.
I quietly resumed eating my biscuits. They were looking at me. I was looking at them.
At last, one of them asked:
– Anything for the boys?
– “No, nothing”, I replied.
– So, can we at least have some biscuits?
– What? No, I am not giving you my biscuits!
– So, what about some water?
I have been drinking from the bottle! The look I gave them!
– Ok, Madam, you can go.
– Thank you, Officers!
The other day, I was at the same junction again and I was surprised to see that they have corrected their mistake. There is a clear “Do not enter” sign there now!